FAIRY TAIL - Ophilia Glassheart's Date Quest
by Emerald Sonata
Summary: "...Um...Hello. My name is Ophilia Glassheart of Fairy Tail...Mmm...How to best describe myself?...Ah! As my name mentions, my heart is pretty fragile. So please don't break it - or else I'll punch you with my flying hammer, F-14 Grumman, yup-yup...Other than that...I so want to buy that Rabbit Plushy...,...,...,...Sigh..." - Ophilia Glassheart. (Fairy Tail Role Play))
1. Chapter 1

_**~Emerald Sonata Work~**_

 _ ***Inspired by a Fairy Tail Role-Play Request (one-shot)***_

* * *

 **~FAIRY TAIL~  
(re)QUEST**

 **Ophilia Glassheart's  
 _'Take Me On a Date!'_  
**

* * *

...

 **Ophilia Glassheart** was a simple Mage.

She belonged to a certain Guild of Dangerous Monsters—

—or better known as _Fairy Tail_.

She was a Caster-type who specialized in a Magic Form called: _Material World_.

The ability allows her to manipulate the energy and spiritual circuits in her body,

To reconstruct its flow into a tangible form,

And bring into physical reality any solid weapon of star-sparkling silver…

…,…,…The theory behind it could be similar to Ice Alchemy…only instead of any known element—

—Ophilia Glassheart could build any weapon purely from her own magical energy in your lovely body…

Her favorite form consisted of

A Flying Hammer.

…She affectionately calls it _F-14 Grumman_ …every time it takes flight, a certain theme song from the Danger Zone will play full blast...Ahem...

Then there was also:

 _Avenger_ , the Boots that can give her extra jumping power like a certain man of iron,

And _Spanish Inquisition_ …which was an Orbital Laser Satellite Cannon…why? Because no one expected the Spanish Inquisition once it appeared.

…,…,…

 _Material World_ was a feat that was incredibly taxing. Without proper training (which she doesn't have), it can downright kill the caster quicker than a regular convenience store battery (…ah, wrong reality…)…

…But—

"Tee-hee. I don't really care if my enemy is a Level 30 Necromancer, a Black-Red-Green-Yellow-Gold Dragon, Mountains of Volcano Golems, or even a pack of Corpse-Transforming Zombie Wolves—

—So long as I get to beat the sh*t out of those bad guys and evil-doers, it gives me newfound excitement with every punch!"

…,…,…,..Anyone thinking about picking on others or committing a petty crime – just run. Don't look – _**run**_.

…,…,…

…Ahem.

For this story, Ophilia Glassheart needed money.

There was this giant stuffed rabbit doll she wanted, but it was ridiculously expensive.

Fighting tons of rampant Kobolds or crushing Goblins didn't fit the bill—

—Mostly because of the ridiculous amount of collateral damage she leaves behind every mission.

Yet she was fortunate today…

"…Oh…This request looks simple enough…Too bad I can't punch anyone though…Sigh…"

 ***Take Me On a Date!***

…,…,…That was the available title of the simple request – and that was the available description of the request.

The Client went by the name of **Joanne Crystalbell**.

Reward: Tons of Jewels and Shiny Stuff…(That was exactly what was written).

…,…,…,…So.

Everything came down to Ophilia Glassheart simply accepting this simple request—

—Prepared her best clothes (which were the same Night-Ocean Battle gown as usual, only with all the Orc Blood stains removed)—

—And…,…,…,…a tiny purse in the shape of a giggling frog's head?

"You're late, lowly Date! And I thought I told you to bring something for me to eat! Isn't it your duty to prepare a dish of Poutine and Gravy to a prim and proper lady like me?"

The Client had arrived…1 hour past the appointed meeting time…

…Yet she was the one judging the Magic Menace named Ophilia Glassheart – with the same authority of an executioner to a prisoner on the cutting block.

Dressed in the skin of a lively lady bug, hair tied like a coiling baby snake to one side, and a strawberry-on-a-stick lollipop rolling about in her mouth…

To summarize: Joanne Crystalbell was short.

It was because she was 5 years old.

"…Ms. Client. I appreciate your bold request in wanting to go on a mature like date but…may I see your Identification Card to verify your legal age?"

Joanne just kicked Ophilia in the shin…only to miss and flipped off her favorite marshmallow buckle shoes.

"…,…What are you waiting for, lowly Date!? Bring me my glass slipper (rubber sandal)!"

"Carve the table, Cinderelly – wax the chimney, Cinderelly"

"DO I LOOK LIKE AN EVIL STEP-MOTHER TO YOU!?"

…,…,…

In a gentle park that was needlessly crowded by lovers of all shapes, sizes, and origin—

—A Mage and a Client (female, female) finally met before a stain-glassed water fountain that threw tickling golden-rainbows…

…,…,…Soft Words were exchanged.

"Ms. Client. Do you want this Mage to punch someone for you?"

"…Actually yes! There's this boy who lives next door to my house I want to erase. He just won't stop peeping through my window whenever I change my clothes. Please teach him a valuable lesson."

"Wonderful! Then off we go! Onward-ho, _F-14 Gumman_ (hammer) – Runwaaaay to the Killer Zooooone~!"

"Daaaate~! Date A Liiiiive-r~! Dating On-Liiiiiine!~!"

…,…,…The two…couple (18 yrs female, 5 yrs female) happily went on a Saint's March to a certain victim's house…

…,…,…,…

Now…Under the yawning afternoon sun

Sitting at a glittering table that was born from the heart of a 1000 year old oak tree…

…Ophilia Glassheart and Joanne Crystalbell made a connection.

"Ms. Client. Your Elf Rogue has ran into a bunch of mean looking Human Bandits. Before they even make their first move to attack you – they're already violating your sacred body within their lecherous brains…Would you like to punch every one of their lewd hypothalamus out?"

"Hmph! Don't joke with me, my lowly Date! Of course I will throw a blazing Macros Missile Massacre at their faces! Jo'Anna Crystalfire the 36th, Master Thief and Assassin, will not even leave even their entrails to stand as testament of their lowly existence! MACROS ATTAAAAACK!"

"Oooooh! So wonderful! That was the most beautiful punch this Mage has ever seen! You even carved a perfect hole through their Stone Giant's stomach as if it were a rubber plug!"

"Kyaaa-haa-haaa-haaa-haaa! Bang! Bang! Bang! Death to all perverts!"

"Yup-yup! Death to all perverts! Now it's this Dungeon Master's turn! – Sick him _F-14 Grumman!_ Runwaaay to the Killer Zoooooooone!"

…,…,…

And the day rolled on, like usual.

A visit to Magnolia's 5 Star Restaurant that sold Specialty Canned Curry on Basilisk Tails—

—A simple pool game against a magic-cycle gang with burning teddy-bears pirates carved on their shoulders—

—A trip to the zoo where it's aquarium display was themed after _'Tea Time with Cthulhu'_ —

—And a romantic stroll to the nearest high class spa resort that served hotspring-boiled tea eggs…

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Well done, lowly Date! I've never had this much fun since my first birthday! Ever since my Mama and Papa kept bringing in 'new mommies and daddies' back to the house to have an 'adult's party', I was always locked in my room to just play cat's cradles with myself…I guess thanks to that training, I was able to win the National Cat-Cradle Tournament 10 times in a row…But in the end, it was just boring…"

"Tee-hee. I'm so glad I went on this date. I got to punch the teeth out of that perverted boy who keeps peeping on you (4.5 yrs old), won the wrestling match against all of the magic-biker gangs and then punched their teeth out when they thought I cheated (x10), and even had a chance to try out the new sherbet flavor this café had recently placed on the shelves (Hazel-Orange)! Haaaaa…For a second, I thought this request would make me walk alongside a viciously old man who couldn't keep his hands to himself…it would have been boring…"

…,…,…,…,…,…,…

…No matter how absurd, far-fetched, or messed up this simple date turned out to be…

There was something importantly honest about it…

…,…,…,…

Both Mage and Client were devastatingly **lonely** …,…,…but—

—This world was not kind enough for them to complain…let alone reject that chilling reality…

So, regardless of all the collateral damage, the twisted ideals of courtship, or even staining the title of 'perfect babysitters'…

…Ophilia Glassheart and Joanne Crystalbell…,…had fun today…

"…,…Hey, Ms. Client…Please have this…Consider it as a Christmas Present…"

"…,…This rabbit doll is ridiculous…it's two times bigger than my own body mass (5 yrs old), there's no way I can even piggy-back this all the way home…Also…Are you sure you want to give this rabbit doll to me?—

—Your eyes keep crying crocodile tears every time I hug this toy…"

"…Th…these aren't tears…*Sniff*…It's allergy…from the sherbet…*Sniff*…"

"…,…,…,…,…Sigh…it would leave a bad taste in this prim and proper lady's mouth if she doesn't return this ridiculous favor…How else can she grow up and face other members of nobility at a future charity ball…,…

…I…Joanne Crystalbell…allow you to come and visit this honorable lady…and play with the rabbit doll…,…That will be my Christmas Present to you."

"GOD BLESS THOR – IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! NOW I GET TO SEE MR. FLUFFY FLUFFINGTON THE 3RD EVERY DAY!"

"YOU EVEN HAD A NAME THOUGHT OUT FOR IT!?"

…,…,…Request _'Take Me On a Date'_ Complete…

…,…,…

 ** _…_** ** _,…,…,…Merry Christmas…probably…_**

* * *

 ** _[~Emerald Sonata]_**


	2. Chapter 2

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